Long Fatcation

Sorry I was was gone so long, blogosphere. I am still fat, still eating vegan cupcakes when want, and also still struggling with the realization that fat happiness is a radical transgressive move. I feel guilty because the cold weather and a lot of work has brought my exercize level down to nil. Fat guilt! I was a good fat now I am a bad fat because of not being physical. At least I am still vegan.

Party Hardly

I am going to a party today. My partner and I will be the fattest people there. The other people attending that I know will fall into several categories: never been fat and normal weight but on the diet train and lately pudgy and sad about it. I want to have a stress-free good time, but I was anxious about the event. Now I realize I can be beacon - of self-acceptance, of self-love, of having jumped off the diet train, escaped the prison of diets and self-hate. I am free. I don't have worry about myself - I got the message. Maybe in being myself, I can be an example. Cloyingly optimistic, I know, but maybe hoping for a better outcome is an improvement on worrying.

The Ultimate Transgression?

For the TruTv Network (filled with "truthiness" no doubt) they ran this commercial where this guy is yelling at the tv and his neighbors think he is yelling about them. The transgressive actions his neighbors display?

One guy dresses his bulldog in a bikini and is doing doggie pin-up photography. Definitely transgressive, kinky, weird.

And what is the other weird, bizarre, shameful behavior his other neighbor is involved in? Why it's a woman standing in the kitchen with a piece of cake. Not even a whole cake! And she has a goddamn fork! She looked liked she was found with dope works, ready to shoot up, or with the local pastor's dick in her mouth.

This passes for shameful, secret behavior: An ostensibly thin woman eating a PEICE of cake in her own fucking kitchen. She is going to HELL. (Fat-ass Hell).

Sets the bar pretty low for transgression. I guess I don't need to keep blowing the Rev to be completely, anti-socially, radical.

(the commerical is on youtube here,but I am too ingnorant to know why i can't hyper link it):http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UvEHBoP76M"

Coming Out Party: Fat-Ass Edition

Wooo boy. I guess I should come right out and say it: I am fat. I am a fat! Or I am one of the fats that is fatting up the country. I take up a lot of room on the subway. I don't even try to hide my flab-slab of belly anymore.
I've gone over to the darkside:

Fat and not hating my body.
Fat and physically active.
Fat and sexual.

HOW CAN I DARE TO BUCK THE DIET INDUSTRY, THE FASHION INDUSTRY AND SNEERING ANONYMOUS JERKS??

Well, I realized none of those things matter. What matters is that I don't believe their sickening lies anymore. The Fatosphere really helped me get over the final hurdle (my fat legs carried me over, really) and feel great.

And I do feel great. Which is an amazing accomplishment in this hateful world.

Non-Floppy Vegan Waffles

I made this for Mom's Day for my mom. Some vegan waffle recipes I found online warned about sogginess, and who the hell likes a soggy waffle. Not me!

Here is what I came up with:

Non-Floppy Vegan Waffles

DRY
1 & 1/2 cups all purp flour
1/4 cup cornmeal
2 tbls gram flour (chick pea flour)
1 tbls baking powder
3/4 tsp salt

WET
2 cups non-sweetened vegan milk (soy, almond, whatevah)
1 tsp vanilla extract
2 tbls unflavored oil (canola, grapeseed, whatevah)

LUMPY
2 tbls Egg-replaced (potato starch) dissolved in 1/4 water

Turn waffle iron on. Keep your spray oil or whatever you use handy to oil it up (even if it's non-stick, trust me). Mix your lumpy with your wet, then sift all your dry in a big bowl. Stir in the wet, gently turning it. You do NOT want to beat the lumps out of it, because that makes the waffles have a rubber halloween mask-like texture. You may still have a few dry floury spots, that's okay. It' should be bubbly and poofing. Make sure your waffle iron is prepped with your oil and start spooning. You don't want the batter sitting around too long.

Eat with whatever you eat waffles with (vegan marg, molasses, maple syrup, jelly, etc). They stay crisp for a while and can be reheated in a toaster for later yumminess, if you have any left over.

Mom is an omni and loved them, but I also made strawberry syrup too, cause I am cool like that:

Mother's Day Strawberry Syrup

1 pt organic strawberries hulled and sliced (organic is a must, unless you like styrofoam taste of freak non-organic strawberries)
1/8 - 1/4 cup vegan sugar
1/2 cup water plus 1/4 cup water
1 tbls arrowroot. (cornstarch will do, but make sure it's completely cooked!)

dissolve the arrowroot starch in a cup with 1\4 water. Put the rest in a small saucepan over low heat, stirring gently until sugar dissolves and it starts to bubble a little. Add the arrowroot mixture and stir gently until no longer cloudy. Simmer for one minute. Serve.

I know this is like pie filling but F-U. I don't know how to cook sugar to the correct syrup consistency, and no one at this brunch complained, missy.

More blogging?

It's the cigarettes of the Millenial Generation - Blogging makes you look cool. So here's the though of the day: "There is no fundamental difference between man and the higher animals in their mental faculties... The lower animals, like man, manifestly feel pleasure and pain, happiness, and misery."
--Charles Darwin